The Wild Acolyte Blues
by ColdFusion180
Summary: The Acolytes cut loose and cause havoc as they continue to annoy everyone they encounter.


**The Wild Acolyte Blues**

CRASH!

The once tranquil atmosphere of the Acolyte base was shattered as the four subordinate Acolytes frantically stumbled out of the Control Room and scrambled down the hallway.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU IDIOTS!" Magneto's irate screams echoed after them. "I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR STUPID ARGUMENTS ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER!"

"I told you we should have switched to the kielbasa debates," Remy grumbled as he ran. "Mags likes kielbasa."

"Well if you would only admit that chunky double chocolate peanut butter is the best peanut butter ever…" Pyro began.

"No way. Fiery cinnamon and honey peanut butter is way better than that junk," Sabertooth growled.

"Well I think…" Piotr began.

"SHUT UP YOU NUTS!" Magneto roared dangerously. "EITHER GET OUT OF MY HEARING RANGE OR MY BASE! PREFERABLY BOTH!"

"But where are we supposed to go?" Pyro asked.

"I DON'T CARE! JUST GO AWAY FOR A FEW HOURS SO I CAN REBUILD WHAT'S LEFT OF MY SANITY IN PEACE!" Magneto yelled.

"Fat chance of that," Remy quipped.

"It's about time I got let out of this place again," Sabertooth grumbled. "I'm going stir crazy just hanging around here."

"Alright!" Pyro squealed as the Acolytes reached the garage. He eagerly slipped on a helmet. "Let's go hit the road! Wohoo!"

"But where are we going?" Piotr asked mounting his motorcycle.

"Who cares!" Pyro laughed and jumped into the sidecar. "As long as it's outta here!"

"You said it!" Remy grinned revving his engine and letting go a low howl. "_Ohhhhhhhhh!_"

"_Ohhhhhhhhh!_" Sabertooth joined in gunning his bike.

"_Ohhhhhhhhh_," Piotr followed hesitantly.

"_Ohhhhhhhhh!_" Pyro shouted happily. "_The siren screams!_"

"_The people shout!_" Remy yelled.

"_You know the Acolytes are going out!_" The mutants cheered as they tore out of the garage.

"_We're gonna take our bikes and cruise!_" Remy grinned.

"_And sing The Wild Acolyte Blues!_" The Acolytes laughed as they sped down the streets of downtown Bayville.

"_We make a mess!_" Sabertooth rode straight through the middle of a sidewalk café, scattering tables and patrons everywhere.

"_Don't give a hoot!_" Pyro giggled and set the café's overhang on fire.

"_We're gonna crash this joint and swipe all the loot!_" Remy smirked grabbing stray wallets and jewelry out of the air.

"AAAHHHHHH!" People screamed and ran for their lives.

"_We'll make the headline evening news_," Piotr moaned.

"_And sing The Wild Acolyte Blues!_" The Acolytes sang as they left the café and proceeded to tear up the town.

"_It's really hot!_" Pyro laughed setting random lampposts on fire.

"_What's hot?_" Piotr asked.

"_What we've got!_" Remy patted his pockets.

"_Very hot!_" Pyro cackled insanely.

"_We're gonna get away before we're caught!_" Remy smirked as he heard police sirens approaching in the distance. "_Yeah!_"

"_As long as it's imprudent, we'll be happy mutants!_" Pyro chirped while setting more lampposts on fire. "_We'll wind up for our next potshot!_"

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Principal Kelly screamed as Sabertooth clipped him with his motorcycle and sent him flying through a store window.

CRASH!

"_We're causing trouble!_" Piotr noted several police cars chasing after them.

"_We'll bring the pain!_" Sabertooth grinned dangerously.

"_You know we're all arguably insane!_" Remy charged some cards and tossed them behind him.

"_We do more damage than the flu!_" Pyro laughed maniacally.

"_We sing_ _The Wild Acolyte Blues!_" The Acolytes laughed as Remy's cards blew out the tires of the pursuing police cars, thus creating a six-car pileup.

"That takes care of them," Remy snickered while viewing his handiwork.

"Hahahahaha!" Pyro cackled as he continued to shoot random streams of fire everywhere. "Hey look! X-Men dead ahead!"

"Let's get 'em!" Sabertooth grinned with a wicked glint in his eye.

Scott, Jean, Kurt, Kitty, Bobby and Sam were casually strolling down the sidewalk. Sabertooth rode up behind them and nabbed Bobby from behind. "What the?" Scott gasped.

"Aaahhhhhh!" Bobby yelped.

"Here ya go kiddie!" Sabertooth laughed before dumping him into a nearby trash can.

CRASH!

"Ow," Bobby whimpered.

"What's going on…yikes!" Kurt yelped as he barely managed to avoid one of Pyro's fireballs.

"It's Sabertooth and the rest of Magneto's goons!" Jean shouted as she used her powers to deflect the fire blasts.

"Then let's take 'em down…aaahhhhhh!" Scott yelped as Remy sped by and expertly swiped his shades. Scott managed to close his eyes just in time. "Hey, I can't see!"

"Thanks for the souvenir!" Remy smirked.

"Look out!" Kitty yelped phasing herself and Scott just as Sabertooth made another pass to grab at them.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Pyro shot out more flames at the X-Men while laughing maniacally. "_It's really hot!_"

"What's hot?" Sam asked frantically.

"_What we've got!_" Pyro chirped.

"Very hot!" Kurt yelped avoiding another fireball.

"_We're gonna get away before we're caught!_" Sabertooth grinned evilly. "_Ha!_"

"_As long as it's imprudent, we'll be happy mutants!_" Remy charged a nearby fire hydrant. "_We'll wind up for our next potshot!_"

KA-BOOOOOOM!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" The X-Men screamed as the hydrant blew apart, showering them with water.

"_We break the laws!_" Remy smirked tossing more charged cards.

"_We crush our foes!_" Sabertooth knocked over several street signs.

"_We love to step on everybody's toes!_" Pyro reached into the sidecar's glove compartment and pulled out a dye bomb. He threw it over the X-Men's heads.

BOOM!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Jean screamed as they were covered in dye. "MY HAIR!"

"_We're laughing 'cause the joke's on you_!" Remy snickered at the X-Men's predicament.

"_You'll_ _sing_ _The Wild Acolyte Blues!_" The Acolytes sang as they continued to duck into alleys and reappear from unexpected directions.

"Like heck we will you…OW!" Scott yelped as the spent dye bomb casing hit him on the head. "YOU IDIOTS!"

"Look who's talking!" Remy taunted. "_You guys are jerks!_"

"_You all are nerds!_" Pyro giggled.

"_You guys are nothing but a bunch of stupid birds!_" Remy threw a final handful of cards at them.

"_Looks like we're winning and you lose!_" Sabertooth hooted.

"_You'll_ _sing_ _The Wild Acolyte Blues!_" The Acolytes laughed and withdrew from the scene just as several police cars appeared and surrounded the disheveled X-Men. "_You'll sing_ _The Wild Acolyte Blues!_"

"_Ohhhhhhhhh!_" Remy gunned his engine.

"_Ohhhhhhhhh!_" Sabertooth grinned.

"_Ohhhhhhhhh_," Piotr groaned.

"_Ohhhhhhhhh!_" Pyro howled happily as the Acolytes laughed and sped away from sight.

"I'm really starting to hate those guys," Scott grumbled.

**********

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "The Boogie Beagle Blues".**


End file.
